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essays and long reads

anarchistbuilder

when "yes" isn't consent

consent is more than a word. it is a practice rooted in respect, self-awareness, and relational integrity.

Tessakin · June 1, 2026

keystoneconnectorcurrent

balancing lovers in social spaces

there have been nights when i’ve walked into a party, a kink space, or a social setting and found myself in the same room with more than one lover.

Tessakin · June 1, 2026

thresholdseekerbuilder

the commitment myth

polyamorous people are among the most committed people you will ever meet.

Tessakin · June 1, 2026

tidehermitthresholdkeystone

attachment theory and how we love

attachment theory emerged from observations of how infants bond with caregivers and what happens when those bonds are disrupted.

Tessakin · June 1, 2026

keystonehearthconnector

kitchen table polyamory

kitchen table polyamory refers to a style of relationships where all partners are comfortable and familiar with each other, often to the extent of sharing meals or socializing together.

Tessakin · June 1, 2026

nomadhermitanarchist

garden party polyamory

garden party polyamory takes its name from the image of a relaxed, open-air gathering where guests are welcomed into a shared space but there is no expectation for deep intimacy with everyone present.

Tessakin · June 1, 2026

tidebuilderkeystone

love requires trust

trust is the foundation upon which love is built, and in polyamorous relationships, this truth holds even greater weight.

Tessakin · June 1, 2026

buildertidekeystone

what commitment means in plural relationships

commitment is the steadfast dedication to the growth and longevity of a relationship, and the willingness to navigate challenges together.

Tessakin · June 1, 2026

anarchistbuildernomad

on mutual respect

at the core of every healthy relationship lies mutual respect, a vital pillar of love.

Tessakin · June 1, 2026

seekerthresholdcurrentlevel

the many types of love

the ancient Greeks had multiple words to describe different types of love, each with its own nuanced meaning.

Tessakin · June 1, 2026

soundings: six dates for discovering whether the spark has roots.

six guided dates. anchor questions you answer privately. conversation prompts you bring to the date itself. a structure for the conversations that matter, at the pace a real connection actually moves.

Tessakin · June 1, 2026

tending: a monthly practice for the relationship you're building.

the relationship check-in for when nothing's wrong. eight topics, two modes, action items that carry forward. a recurring structured practice for the relationship you're building.

Tessakin · June 1, 2026

the tools we use to design our relationships were built for paper.

the poly community has built the most thoughtful relationship-design tools in existence. all of them are pdfs. groundwork is where those ideas become interactive.

Tessakin · June 1, 2026

glimmers: the practice of noticing what went right.

once a week, both people answer the same prompt about what went right. answered apart, revealed together. a record of what's been good, visible when things feel hard.

Tessakin · June 1, 2026

embers: going deeper when you're both ready.

on-demand depth practice for romantic kin. intimate questions, answered privately, revealed together. no streak, no cadence, no overdue notification.

Tessakin · June 1, 2026

moments: the archive of everything you've built.

not a practice. the record of every practice you've done. every pulse reveal, glimmers exchange, embers session, soundings date, and tending lands here. visible history.

Tessakin · June 1, 2026

pulse: one question a day, answered apart, revealed together.

a daily temperature reading for a relationship that's alive. one question. both answer alone. the reveal is where the conversation starts.

Tessakin · June 1, 2026