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pillar 03 / connections

this is where you keep them close.

tools for tending the relationships you already have.

01

group chat moves messages.

it's where the memes and the “running late” texts live. keep it. tessakin isn't trying to replace it.

02

dating apps find new people.

useful for the start of something. but the people you've already found need tending, not discovery.

03

tessakin tends what you keep.

the weekly check-in, the daily noticing, the play that goes somewhere. the things those tools can't hold.

a space for your people

relationships are alive. alive things need tending.

⟡ kin

kin

the structure

name the people you keep close, on your own terms.

partner, anchor, nesting partner, comet, or whatever fits. you choose the words. tessakin doesn't assume your shape.

kin is the constellation underneath everything else: who's connected to whom, held privately, on your terms. invite anyone by email, even if they're not here yet.

○ pulse

pulse

daily · the maintenance

one question a day, just between the two of you.

small, private, consistent. a single question each day that you and someone you care about answer for each other.

it's the maintenance layer of a relationship: the steady, quiet attention that keeps something good from drifting. nobody else sees it. just the two of you.

✦ glimmers

glimmers

weekly · the noticing

three prompts a week, answered apart, revealed together.

you each answer on your own. then it opens, and you read what the other one wrote at the same time.

glimmers is for catching the good things you'd otherwise let pass: the small gratitude, the thing you noticed but never said. a weekly practice of looking at what's working.

◓ embers

embers

when you're ready · the depth

an intimate card game for two.

a deck of prompts for the conversations you mean to have but never quite start. you take turns. it goes where you let it.

embers is for going deeper with someone you trust: the questions underneath the everyday ones, asked gently, at your own pace.

◈ soundings

soundings

multi-date · 2-4 people

discovering whether the spark has roots.

six guided dates for exploring a new connection. two anchor questions answered privately before each date, conversation prompts used together on the date itself, a checkpoint after: ready for the next one?

for people who may have existing partners and practice various forms of non-monogamy.

❖ tending

tending

recurring · romantic kin

a monthly practice for the relationship you're building.

a structured check-in covering quality time, intimacy, communication, other partners, boundaries, logistics, health, growth.

both people reflect privately before the conversation, or talk first and capture afterward. action items carry forward. for couples or polycules.

◇ moments

moments

always · the memory

a shared archive of what you've built together.

the good things don't vanish into a chat scroll. the pulses you answered, the glimmers you shared, the rounds you played: they collect here.

moments is the shared memory of a relationship. somewhere to look back and see, plainly, the tending you've done together.

◈ play

games

together · the fun

play that surfaces something real.

how it fits together

check innotice the goodgo deeperrememberplay

bring the people you keep close.

tessakin works best with your people in it. start a practice with one person you care about, and build from there.