34 essays
the tantric map · the three states
i came to these slowly · through study, through loss, through having more than one romantic partner at a time. three practices that don’t resolve when you tend them. they intensify. this is where i am with all three.
antonio · jul 22, 2026 · 6 min read
tantra and polyamory · 10 of 10poly/mono, honestly
one of you loves more than one person. one of you loves just the one. that’s poly/mono · a real, common, whole way to build a life together. here’s what it is, why monogamy isn’t the lesser setting, and how two people hold it honestly.
Tessakin · jul 17, 2026 · 3 min read
understanding hierarchy, priority, and trust
hierarchy and priority are often used interchangeably in conversations about polyamory. they're not the same thing, and confusing the two creates misunderstandings that can quietly shape relationships.
Tessakin · jul 17, 2026 · 3 min read
jealousy as information
i used to treat jealousy like a fire alarm. something to silence as fast as possible, ideally before anyone else noticed it was going off.
antonio · jul 17, 2026 · 3 min read
the tantric map - what the map revealed
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antonio · jul 12, 2026 · 5 min read
tantra and polyamory · 9 of 10
the tantric map - anubis
i don't sever bonds easily. my instinct is to find the form a relationship can still take rather than let it end completely. sitting with Anubis i've had to ask myself a harder question: is some of that fear? mastering death isn't about welcoming endings. it's about being fully present with them without needing them to be different than they are.
antonio · jul 10, 2026 · 5 min read
tantra and polyamory · 8 of 10
the tantric map - set
when someone i love is struggling my first move is support. but when i see the same pattern returning · the one they named, the one they said they were working on · something shifts. wrathful clarity isn't cruelty. Set stands at the prow of Ra's barque every night fighting what would stop the dawn. the disruption is not the point. the dawn is the point.
antonio · jul 9, 2026 · 5 min read
tantra and polyamory · 7 of 10
the tantric map - ra
when something breaks in a relationship or in my community, my instinct is to get to the other side of it as fast as possible. this tantric map between Ra and Vajrasattva is teaching me something i didn't expect to need: how to stop moving. how to sit in the dark long enough for the morning that comes to actually mean something.
antonio · jul 8, 2026 · 4 min read
tantra and polyamory · 6 of 10
the tantric map - isis
the tantric map traces fierce protective action through isis and Vajrayogini · two traditions, one quality. protecting what you love isn't reactive. it's awake, organized, and constant. in romantic relationships it means tending the bond itself. in community it means being the one who sees a need and begins to move before anyone has to ask.
antonio · jul 7, 2026 · 4 min read
tantra and polyamory · 5 of 10
mend: repairing our bonds
when something breaks between people who chose each other, the break isn't proof the bond was wrong. mend is a practice for repair.
Tessakin · groundwork · jul 7, 2026 · 4 min read
tending your relationships · 8 of 8the tantric map - osiris
the tantric map traces compassion through two traditions · Avalokiteshvara, the bodhisattva who delayed his own enlightenment to remain present for all who suffer, and osiris, reconstituted through loss, who holds the hearts of others because he knows what it is to be broken. both point at the same thing: the capacity to stay present with pain without needing to fix it.
antonio · jul 6, 2026 · 4 min read
tantra and polyamory · 4 of 10
the tantric map - thoth
in tantric practice, the work isn't to stop feeling · it's to see clearly through what you're feeling. i found thoth in that space. the recorder of truth, the one who witnesses what is actually. that's the quality i keep returning to when the emotions are loud and the truth is quieter than i want it to be.
antonio · jul 5, 2026 · 4 min read
tantra and polyamory · 3 of 10