mostly monogamous, with a small and agreed opening: a specific kind of outside connection that both people are comfortable with. coined by writer dan savage, it names the wide middle between strict exclusivity and fuller non-monogamy. it is a settled place to live, not a halfway step toward polyamory.
Monogamish describes couples who are monogamous in nearly every respect but keep a narrow, explicit exception: a threesome now and then, contact that is allowed while traveling, a particular kind of encounter they have both agreed to. The defining feature is how small and how deliberate the opening is. The relationship still reads as monogamous from the inside, with one carefully drawn door.
It shares the core of everything here, a clear agreement rather than a secret, and differs from polyamory in scale: the one relationship stays the whole story, with a defined exception, rather than making room for additional relationships. Naming it matters because couples often live this way without a word for it, and a word makes the agreement easier to talk about and keep. It sits under ethical non-monogamy like the rest.
want to talk about Monogamish with people who live it?
definition contributed by Tessakin