Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is an umbrella term for relationship structures in which partners explicitly agree to engage in romantic or sexual connections with more than one person. The word "ethical" distinguishes this from infidelity: all partners are aware of and have agreed to the arrangement. ENM includes polyamory, swinging, open relationships, relationship anarchy, and other configurations.
The term "ethical non-monogamy" emerged in part as a more inclusive alternative to "polyamory," which for some people carried specific connotations about the depth or nature of outside connections. ENM is broader: it encompasses arrangements where outside connections are primarily sexual rather than romantic, as well as those where they are primarily romantic, and everything in between.
The "ethical" in ethical non-monogamy does real work. It signals that the defining feature of these relationship structures is not simply the presence of multiple connections, but the explicit agreement and ongoing communication among everyone involved. This distinguishes ENM from cheating, which involves similar behavior without the knowledge or consent of partners.
What counts as ethical within ENM is not a fixed standard but a matter of ongoing negotiation among the specific people involved. The agreements that make one set of relationships feel honest and respectful will look different from the agreements that serve another set. The common thread is that everyone who is meaningfully affected by the arrangement has knowledge of it and some voice in how it operates.
ENM is not a single lifestyle but a spectrum of practices and philosophies. Someone who identifies as ENM might be in a long-term committed triad, or in a primary partnership with occasional casual outside connections, or in multiple serious non-hierarchical relationships, or in any number of other configurations. The label describes the principle, not the form.
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definition contributed by Tessakin