the agreement you build together, and keep. not a contract, not a one-time talk.
the missing artifact between “we had the conversation” and “we keep growing it on purpose.”
you talked about it once. can either of you remember what you agreed?
static PDFs go stale. accord grows with you.
how it works
five moments. build them when you’re ready.
the builder · seven sections
the questions that matter in a long relationship.
the shape
how connected, how paced, how open to other relationships.
how we talk and decide
honesty style, autonomy, decision-making, being heard.
how we care
love languages, intimacy registers, pacing.
the physical and sexual
privately, by default. extra-guarded within tessakin.
when it’s hard
repair style, hardest ruptures, conflict entry.
other partners
kitchen-table or parallel. disclosure, metamour courtesies.
money and home
finances, cohabitation, co-parenting.
the rest
free-form. anything the questions don’t ask about.
not a checklist to march through. fill only where you have something to say · nothing is required. every prompt has an “add your own” option, and “the rest” section is a free-form space for anything the questions don’t ask about.
sample prompts
these are examples · you can pick, write your own answer, or add agreements the questions don’t ask about.
how do your relationships relate to each other?
when it’s hard, what helps you feel heard?
safer sex · barriers
sample compiled excerpt · you and rowan (fictional)
what we agree on
the shape · pace
we move at our own pace · no timelines imposed on each other
where we hold differently
the shape · openness
you: case by case · rowan: both open. kept on purpose.
still on the table
money and home
splitting a shared space · back at the next revisit.
held differences aren’t failures. still on the table goes to tending.
what it isn’t
who it’s for
any relationship that warrants one.
partners
the full accord. all seven sections. everything you need to build a shared understanding.
crushes
a light accord. where this could go, what you both want, what you need to know first.
metamours
a constellation-courtesies mini-accord. transparency, kitchen-table vs parallel, what you need from each other.
friends
optional light accord. some friendships warrant it. it’s not only romantic.
no partner on tessakin yet? build your side first. name them privately with a placeholder. present it when they arrive.
how it protects you
private-then-reveal
you never see their answer until you’ve committed yours. the reveal is simultaneous.
propose-and-confirm
nothing shared is asserted unilaterally. everything goes through propose, review, confirm.
safety gate
sensitive prompts refuse the “hold both” resting place. the tool asks you to agree or keep talking.
just the two of you
your accord lives between you and your kin. nobody else on tessakin sees it. the physical section is extra-guarded: it doesn’t surface on profiles or in feeds.
accord, tending, multi-partner: all free.
we don’t charge you to keep a healthy relationship current. tessakin makes money on connection, not on gating the tools that help you stay connected.
archetype pairings
the builder and the anarchist write excellent agreements together. between them, nothing stays unexamined.
ready to build your accord?